what occurs at the land of my parents genesis

i hesitantly proceed towards the

exhausted, cold fence

which houses what is left of my mother

the jagged rocks beneath my feet taunt me

as they were certain they belonged

i stare at the enclosement

it is what isolates me from the person i desire the most

adorned with citrus colored flowers

and dirty stricken tiles

none of which pertain to me

i thought it wouldn’t be so hard this time

after all it’s been almost 8 years

instead everyday her absence clouds my being

and i am chronically suffocating as my lungs crave her comforting breath

i have learned to

style my hair

wear high heels

flirt with boys

and face the challenges of womanhood on my own

i don’t remember much anymore

this only haunts me

her laugh

her smile

her supposed voice which used to fill others ears with joy

whisper to my penitent conscience

as it has flown away from my disappointing cerebral matter