College

New friends, hard classes.

A whole new place to call home.

Where will I end up?

Senior year. All I should be doing is soaking in all of the memories and enjoying all of my “lasts. My last first day of high school, my last volleyball game, my last powderpuff. However, all I can think about is the one taunting, dreadful, terrifying word—college. The next step to take in order to further your education so you can get that degree, to get that job, to make the money, to have a family, to do all of the things you are supposed to do as an adult. I am no longer a kid. It’s time to grow up. This is the big leagues; the real world.

For my whole life I always knew I wanted to go to college, in fact I dreamt about it. The packed out stadiums, cute dorm room decorations, the whole nine yards. But, now that it’s here I can’t even fathom the idea of it all. When I get asked the typical question “Where do you want to go to school?” my mind simply goes blank. I have lived in the same house, on the same block, with the same neighbors for my entire 17 years of life. The thought of change, of living somewhere else, hours away from my home and the people I love, in an unfamiliar setting with no familiar faces in sight, quite honestly… scares the absolute shit out of me.

When I think about the word “college,” countless worries flood my brain. What if I don’t get in? What if I hate my major? What if I get homesick? What if my family and friends forget about me? Roommate? Oh god don’t even get me started about that one. What if they hate me? What if we don’t get along at all? What if she’s a slob? Yes, I know , I probably sound crazy to most. And yes, I am aware that many of my fears are irrational and are very easily solvable. However, I still worry.

They say that college is supposed to be the best and most memorable four years of your life, and despite my infinite amount of worries, I truly am excited to see what my future holds. I am sad to leave behind all of the things and the people that have shaped me into the person I am today, but I remain hopeful. Hopeful that those things and those people have best prepared me for what is yet to come. So, I fear not, for I know that in the end it will all be okay and everything will work out for my higher good…or, well at least I hope.

No need to worry.

Everything will be fine.

It will all work out.