Surgical Anxiety

It was so early, too early,

it was like black velvet outside.

I bounced my knee nervously as I waited.

All I could hear was my heartbeat,

loud

and deep

and racing,

and all i could smell were sterilizers, they clogged up my brain.

They called for me, and I walked

through the cold

white

empty hallways.

The nurses injected anesthesia into my veins,

And I held my breath.

I hated needles.

I hated hospitals.

I hated this.

I laid on my bed,

and they said to count down from ten.

I don’t remember what happened after three.